1) You have a $6,000 sound system in your pickup truck.

2) You wear a Juventus shirt and indoor soccer shoes to midnight mass.

3) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother in-law.

4) You own a tape that has Stevie B, Pearl Jam, and Eros on the same side.

5) You find it necessary to carry a pager despite the fact that you are a part time produce clerk at Longo's fruit maket.

6) You own a "CHIN Picnic" T-shirt from each of the last 10 years.

7) Although you are at a disco 4 nights a week, you still can't drink more than 2 beers without passing out.

8) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 dance clubs.

9) A favourite summer activity for you and your friends is sitting on the hood of your car blaring "Stairway to heaven" in the parking lot of your donut shop.

10) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top to wasaga.

You know you're italian when...

1) You're 6'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2) You carry your lunch in a Weston Produce bag because you cant fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges and 3 bananas into a regular paper lunch bag.

3(a) Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.

3(b) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive $45,000 Camaro.

4) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

5) You consider dunking a pack of "S" cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast.

6) There are at least 30 pairs of slippers in your front hall closet.

7) You live in a 900 sqaure foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens.

You know you're Calabrese or Sicilian when.....

1) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

2) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

3) You still wear see-through dress socks and pointy patent leather dress shoes to weddings.

4) You are married and can still squeeze into your cream white confirmation suit.

5) In some capacity, there is a dump truck in your life.

6) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

7) You are on a first name basis with at least 20 banquet hall owners.

8) You have at least one relative named "Calogero" or "Massimilliano"

9) Every single tape in your car has the dance version of MARINA, MARINA.

10) Small DuMaurier regular

11) It takes 4 disposable blades to shave each side of your face.

12) If someone in your family grows beyond 5 ft 6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

13) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

14) You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

15) Your father lives in a subdivision and still raises his own chickens and rabbits.

16) At some point in your life, you were a D.J.

17) You can name more players on the Cagliari Soccer team than on the Leafs.

18) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

19) You and your wife/husband have matching "Edru"/"Edra" bath towels.

20) You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 3 fish courses despite the fact that you normally eat dandelions 6 nights a week.